


Loss.

by starrwrites



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Like A Year Ago, be safe fam, blow your socks off Goodtm, enHoy, it'll make you cry mayb, kinda implied self harm but not actually really just a Warningtm, leave nice things, ptsd trigger ish too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 13:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10219229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrwrites/pseuds/starrwrites
Summary: Paris's air has felt heavier than usual after the passing of the city's beloved hero, Chat Noir.





	

**Author's Note:**

> adrien got fucking merked by hawkmoth

She stirred awake, “Marinette? Marinette?”. She flipped the covers off and crept into the hallway. “Adrien? Are you okay?”. “Marinette! Help!”. Her eyes widened to saucers, her heart raced as her feet led her to do the same. It was too dark in the hallway until she got down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Adrien?! Can you hear me?”. Marinette looked around at the furniture in the house. She ran to the window to see if he was outside. Her breathing fogged up the glass. “No.” She whispered, eyes closing to stop the tears she felt coming. Sabine and Tom came downstairs to find their daughter banging against the windows. Tom looked down to Sabine for words to say or just anything to do to help. Marinette turned to face them as she slumped to the floor, burying her face into her palms. Choked sobs escaped her chapped lips. “Marinette, honey? Let’s go back to sleep.” Sabine offered, walking closer to her. “You have an appointment tomorrow. Don’t you want to sleep?”. 

“I c- I can’t.” Mari replied simply. “He always wakes me up. He needs my help, mom. He needs me.”. Sabine nodded, “I know.”. Tom brought Mari over a glass of water and a pill. Marinette accepted the water but put the pill down. “Take that please. It will help you sleep.”. “I just told you I can’t sleep. There’s no point. “. Sabine placed her hand over Tom’s, half to comfort and half to make him understand. She couldn’t stand seeing her parents do this. Looking at her like this, they didn’t understand. Marinette pushed herself up and walked to the door, grabbing her shoes and backpack. “I’m going out. Go to sleep.”. Tom started to protest but knew he couldn’t stop her. This had become a regular thing for her. The door slammed behind her. She silently apologized to her parents. 

Marinette made her way out of the building, letting the Paris air hit her. She kicked herself as she wasn’t prepared for the chill. She never knew where she was going on these walks. Most of the time she ended up at the spot where they had their first picnic or their favorite ice cream spot. The steps where they kissed for the first time. Spots that made her heart ache. When she got to a destination and decided to settle down, she’d draw. Her favorite thing to draw was a Ladybug and Chat noir comic she’d been working on for their anniversary. All of the notebook pages were spotted with dried tears. 

She couldn’t help but itch her scars. The urge to itch reminded her of them and she never wanted to be reminded of that day. Everyone else wanted to know what happened and where Chat noir had gone. Their whole class was in mourning of their best friend, Adrien Agreste. Citizens of Paris set thousands of lanterns into the night sky to remember their beloved hero. Everyone wanted to know what would happen to Ladybug now that her partner was gone. Or what would happen to Ladybug after they’d defeated Hawkmoth. There was no threat of evil anymore. Marinette hadn’t even seen Tikki since then. 

Alya’s blog had been abandoned now that her heroes were gone. Nino wasn’t coming to school and last time Mari and Alya talked, he wasn’t responding to anyone’s texts. The last time Mari had seen him was a few days after the funeral, at Adrien’s grave. They didn’t talk. She just watched him from afar. His shoulders were moving like he was crying and he was yelling at the tombstone. The grave next to Adrien’s had fresh flowers. His mother’s grave. They looked wilted and sad, like Nino had been squeezing them the whole way over. 

Who knows what Mr. Agreste was doing. He didn’t talk to anyone at the funeral, he didn’t even bother saying anything about his own son. She yelled at him after the wake. It was fire mixed with tears, guilt and frustration. Adrien was his only son and he was gone. And she was to blame. How could he live with himself? It wasn’t going to kill him to say something about his son. Adrien deserved it. She knew what Gabriel had put him through. What a bastard. 

Mari wasn’t responding to texts from anyone at school or even going to school anymore. Everything there reminded her of Adrien. She spent most of her time in her room, looking through their pictures and fiddling with Adrien’s stuff she’d taken. Sometimes she’d visit his house and lay in his bed. Gabriel hadn’t touched it so it was always as it was. His sheets still smelled like him. 

 

She clicked her phone on to view the time, **3:45**. The stretch between 4 am until 6 am was the hardest frame to not fall asleep in. Her body ached as she leaned on the steps, shooting pain running through her legs. Pain medication did nothing so she usually just waited for it to pass. The pain sent memories flooding into her brain. Memories of being trapped, of her losing consciousness. She shut her eyes as tightly as possible and rubbed them until she saw stars. Her breathing had become labored and she didn’t even notice. One breath in, one breath out. 

 

Opening her eyes, she spotted a familiar silhouette. “Nino?” She whispered. Mari was surprised to see him, wandering around such as she did. ‘Should I say something? Will he notice me?’. Her eyes followed him and she figured he was going to sit on one of the benches in front of the steps. She shuffled into a darker spot of the steps to conceal herself. He had his earbuds in and his phone in his hand. Tears were dripping down his cheeks. Her seeing him cry when he thought he was alone was becoming a regular occurrence. She could hear him whispering the words to his music. 

A few minutes passed of the wind carrying his words to her ears. Silence except that. He looked up and around, scanning to see if he was safe in this spot. His eyes past Marinette but shot back over. “H-hello?” Nino called out. Mari stood up, giving him a small wave and a smile. “Marinette, you scared the shit out of me.”. “Sorry.”. Her face scrunched as she tried to make her way down. Walking down the stairs was always worse than walking up them. He noticed and rushed to help her down. A gentle laugh slipped from him, “It’s fine. I just didn’t expect you to pop up.”. Nino looked her over and smiled. “But I’m glad it was you and not some drug dealer.”. That made her laugh, something which still hurt her ribs. He helped her to his bench and gently set her down. “How do you know I’m not a drug dealer?”. 

“Is that what you’re up to now?” Nino teased. She let out a breathy laugh and laid her head down on his shoulders, “Alya misses hearing from you.”. He ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah right, all of our conversations must depress the shit out of her. I have nothing to tell her. I don’t want to hang out with her. I want to stay inside and cry.”. Nino sighed, pulling her into his arms, laying her against his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to the cadence of his heartbeat. “She misses you. Sad shit and all.”. He let out another sigh, bigger than his last. “I should’ve been there for her.”. Mari knew exactly how he felt. They carried their guilt like weights on their back. She let tears fall down her cheeks. “Oh, Mari.” He whispered. “Let’s not talk. Ok?”. 

-

She woke up to warmth. Nino had wrapped his bundles around her after she fell asleep. His chest was rising and falling gently, as he snored quietly. Mari peeked over at Nino’s watch. **6:17**. How long had they been asleep? It couldn’t have been very long. She tried to sit up and not to disturb him. The park was scattered with people jogging or doing morning yoga. Mari took a moment to breathe and stretch the best she could. She laid a hand over Nino’s arm and pushed it back and forth. “Wake up, Nino.”. It took a couple of shakes to wake him. His eyes opened and focused on her. “Mm, Mari. How long did we sleep?”. “Only 2 or so hours.”. “Do you want to grab some breakfast?”. The sick feeling hadn’t come over her yet so she wanted to strike before it hit. She nodded, giving him a smile.


End file.
